New Single Line..

For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened.

I knew, I was born to be a pessimist. Because My blood group type is B Negative

If I agreed with you we’d both be wrong

Why is "abbreviation" such a long word?

“You don’t know anything about pain until you’ve seen your own baby drowned in a tub… and you definitely don’t know anything about how to wash a baby.” – Anthony Jeselnik

Dear Lord, there is a bug in your software...it's called #Monday, please fix it

When your only tool is a hammer, all problems start looking like nails

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

The “Night Out” ever…… but I don’t know why they took me to police station. Am I Famous??

One day I am gonna win….. I can wait till mah death for it.

If you’re talking abt me behind mah back….. go ahead this is the best angel to kiss mah ass!

Scratch here ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ to reveal my status