Sunday, 16 November 2014

new arrivals....

  • I’m not failed…my success is just postponed for some time.
  • When nothing seems right….go left!!
  • Sorry about those texts I sent you last night, my phone was drunk.
  • Love thy neighbor. But don’t get caught.
  • If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
  • A woman is like a tea bag, you cannot tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water.
  • Don’t drink and park – accidents cause people.
  • When a bird hits your window have you ever wondered if God is playing angry birds with you?
  • Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off.
  • A BOSS is like a diaper... Always on your ass, and usually full of Shi***t
  • Ever read a book that changed your life? Me neither.
  • Getting married is a lot like getting into a tub of hot water. After you get used to it, it ain’t so hot.
  • When a girl says she’ll be ready in 5 more minutes, it’s the same as when a guy says the game has 5 minutes left. :D
  • I come up with the best ideas when sitting on the toilet then forget them after the flush.
  • Hey Mate…you There…Whatsapp is using me. :D
  • Etc= End of thinking Capacity.
  • Only Marriage is the major cause of divorce.
  • If you are player then I’m the GAME.
  • Awesome ends with ME and Ugly starts with you.
  • You can disturb me….I’m available. :D
  • Some people call me Mike, You can call me tonight.
  • Scratch here ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ to reveal this status.
  • Do You Want To Go Out With Me? (A) Yes (B) A (C) B.
  • Every problem comes with a solution. If it doesn’t have any solution, it’s a…………. Girl :)
  • Insult and wife are somewhat similar....They always look good...If it is not yours
  • I'm Jealous of My Parents... I'll Never Have a Kid as Cool as Theirs!
  • I speak my mind. I never mind what I speak.
  • Love your girl like you love your Coffee… Enjoy it before its hotness goes.