new arrivals....

• I’m not failed…my success is just postponed for some time.
• When nothing seems right….go left!!
• Sorry about those texts I sent you last night, my phone was drunk.
• Love thy neighbor. But don’t get caught.
• If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.
• A woman is like a tea bag, you cannot tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water.
• Don’t drink and park – accidents cause people.
• When a bird hits your window have you ever wondered if God is playing angry birds with you?
• Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but not necessary to show it off.
• A BOSS is like a diaper... Always on your ass, and usually full of Shi***t
• Ever read a book that changed your life? Me neither.
• Getting married is a lot like getting into a tub of hot water. After you get used to it, it ain’t so hot.
• When a girl says she’ll be ready in 5 more minutes, it’s the same as when a guy says the game has 5 minutes left. :D
• I come up with the best ideas when sitting on the toilet then forget them after the flush.
• Hey Mate…you There…Whatsapp is using me. :D
• Etc= End of thinking Capacity.
• Only Marriage is the major cause of divorce.
• If you are player then I’m the GAME.
• Awesome ends with ME and Ugly starts with you.
• You can disturb me….I’m available. :D
• Some people call me Mike, You can call me tonight.
• Scratch here ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ to reveal this status.
• Do You Want To Go Out With Me? (A) Yes (B) A (C) B.
• Every problem comes with a solution. If it doesn’t have any solution, it’s a…………. Girl :)
• Insult and wife are somewhat similar....They always look good...If it is not yours
• I'm Jealous of My Parents... I'll Never Have a Kid as Cool as Theirs!
• I speak my mind. I never mind what I speak.
• Love your girl like you love your Coffee… Enjoy it before its hotness goes.